Tonight as I was driving home from a busy day at church I was crying my eyeballs out to the Lord, quite literally. I was finally alone and able to pour out my heart frustrated over a situation that continued to leave me in a place of discontent (well, not just one, but several and they seem to all come at the same time-go figure).
I knew I didn’t want to feel this way, much less stay where my emotions were swirling around me like a tornado. My body was telling me how much it didn’t like this and my heart was in full agreement (ain’t nobody got time for that!).
So it occurred to me that I needed to begin thanking God for what He was doing for me now and for when I found myself here again. On Facebook I keep coming across posts that speak to responding with a thankful heart, from a place of gratitude. Honestly that takes a lot of effort at times, especially when it’s easier to wallow in self-pity. But I was desperate to win this battle!
“I thank You Jesus for speaking the truth to me, that You are on my side. When I feel something or someone is working against me, trying to keep me from getting to You, I can remind myself that those things have no power on me whatsoever.
“I thank You Holy Spirit for teaching me Your ways, for reminding me to thank You, to praise You in the midst of my emotions that seem to whirl me out of control. You don’t want me to stay stuck here where my enemies can have their way with me. Thank You for showing me that when I’m under attack to rebuke the enemy. When he lies to me, when I feel terrible because my stomach is bound up by knots of stress to put him in his place, right back in the pit of hell!
“Thank You Father God for speaking to the honest place inside of me that knows my heart and my motives. Thank You for the assurance that You are leading and guiding me, that Your intentions are for my best. I’m so very grateful for Your care, Your love and for drawing me closer to Your heart.”
It was so simple and brought such relief that I still marvel at why I struggle to respond this way when the battle rages in my heart. But I know this to be true:
The enemies of my soul don’t want me to know and recognize that I have already won this fight. They assail me with lies and fear. Their attempts to overwhelm me with doubt succeed at times to throw me into a pit of despair, but today I didn’t stay stuck there, praise God!
Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise.Though I sit in darkness,the Lord will be my light.
I reached out and took the strong arm of my merciful Father who showed His heart, full of compassion and patience towards me by lifting me up out of the muck and mire, reassuring me of the truth.
“You are loved and cared for deeply dear one. I am on your side and won’t let you go through this battle alone.
I am for you, so who or what can be against you? Nothing. No one can stop what I have planned for you. And it’s so good, so very good. He says
”Elaina, Elaina, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Choose what is better, and it will not be taken away from you.”
Sovereign Lord, thank You for helping me fight this battle, for reminding me that I am not fighting it alone and have the victory even now. Thank You for teaching me to lay hold of who You say that I am: Your daughter, child of the Most High God, the King over all the earth and that I am loved more deeply than I will ever know.