Last night I went to a worship service and discovered a new found freedom in worship. I was overcome with joy and the presence of God because of His love in that place. The words we sang and declared were full of truth, truth about what God says in the bible, His promises for me, what He thinks about me. I felt so much breakthrough come. I’m still in awe of what took place there and that I had the opportunity go, to receive His goodness and mercy towards me.
Over the summer I had experienced the same intimacy in worship at different times and felt that God was giving me permission to express my love and adoration to Him dancing and jumping for joy because of the great things He has done for me. I wanted to respond with that heart full of love directed back to Him, but I was very concerned about my body and how I would feel afterwards. Over the past couple of years I have experienced more physical pain due not only to injuries I sustained in high school and college, but I also believe there were foods I was eating that have affected me physically, causing inflammation and discomfort.
In those moments when He said “Go for it! Just dance and be free!” it was as if He was asking me to trust Him even in the pain, believing that He would work a miracle in me, heal and set me free, but I wasn’t willing to trust Him just then. I was struggling to let go of my discontent over what hadn’t happened, over the things I hadn’t received and trust that my God was working it all out for my good.
But last night, I let go. Finally. It was time to jump around and dance and be like a child in the presence of my Father, a great king, safe and content in all things. I was still thinking about what might happen to my body and how I would feel today yet I was completely overcome and compelled with unspeakable joy and I moved in worship like I haven’t done in a very long time. I didn’t care about what might come of all the movement and physical activity. I just wanted to express my joy and my love for God my king. I jumped and danced and sang! It was incredible and truly exhilarating for me to have found break through, to have stepped into a new found freedom.
The joy came when I knew that whatever I needed from that point on, it was mine. I recognized that I have all that I need even before I ask for it. Everything. You see, I have access to the One who owns it all.
What do I lack? What is missing from my life?
Nothing is missing because everything I have need of is available to me, exactly what I need for each moment. If I don’t see it, I can ask my Father, the king where to find it or how to obtain it. Sometimes I might have to wait for it, but as my trust with God goes deeper in our relationship I have a greater confidence that He is working out the details. Each day I recognize more and more that He knows best about what I need and the timing to receive it. So I’m growing in my contentment that things are coming at just the right time OR that God has something better for me, that He will open my eyes to see and my heart to receive it.
Today I’m sore but not in pain like I might have been a few months ago. As I am reflecting on what changes are happening inside of me, I consider that there are foods I am not eating now because they were doing damage to me physically, emotionally and mentally. In a sense they were also hindering my relationship and walk with God. It has not become so much about what I need to avoid or not eat, but rather what do I eat as part of creating a healthier lifestyle, filling myself with the very best that God has for me.
It’s becoming about giving Him my best in all things, in my response towards what happens each moment of this life. It’s a process and takes time, but I remain committed to these wonderful things that God is asking me to do. And reaping the benefits of holding fast to whatever He has for me.
Maybe you are in that place where He is asking you to let go or to step out and have faith. You can’t have faith and still be afraid. You have to decide which way you’re going to walk. I want faith to be the one I choose.
Father, help us to choose to let go and continue to run hard after You, pursuing all that You have for us in this moment.
I choose to trust You, to believe in Your truth.
That You are for me, not against me.
Your mercies are new everyday.
Your love is deeper than the ocean and wider than the sea.
You made me not so that I could serve You, but to know You and be known, to be loved.
Your love does not fail; it dispels the fear. It will not end.
I know that You are faithful to continue teaching me Your ways and showing me Your truth. I believe in Your word, that what You say is true for me today. Thank You for never letting go of me, for not giving up on me. Thank You for reminding me that I am one of the King’s kids and I have access to all that I need and desire. Everything. You are good and freely give me so much more than I ever deserve. I love You Jesus!